decisions, decisions, decisons...
Hey all
Well, as of...last week sometime (23rd june) my brother (who was living in Aberdeen) came home pretty much for good.
Its been crap so far to be honest (asides from the barbeque on saturday! and the many many family dinners) he has a control-freak streak in him (he was a squadron leader at air cadets, go figure!) and right now, i dont like being told what to do, put down and made to feel crap!
His wife on the other hand, seems quite subdued for some reason or other, she was much nicer before he came to stay! lol.
Have made the decision that I want to move away for university, have proposed it to dad and have got the a-ok, sister too. so thats good. right now the first choice is the university of Dundee, then Glasgow, then Birmingham then sheffield! all to dentistry! i just hope i get into at least one of them!
Managed to get my dental project sorted out. so people i need your help a little now! what kind of project can i carry out in a dental practice?! id like it to be a comparison of something, but how exactly can you compare within a practice which is (rather oddly) mainly only one ethnicity?! so i cant compare between ethinicities, what else can i compare?!!
right now theres something really weird going on with my head. i dont know whether or not i posted about me being diagnosed with anxiety, but i was speaking to the lady at the doctors the other week and my sleep patterns came into conversation.
I have, VERY odd sleep patterns. i go to bed around 10, fall asleep somewhere between 11/1. and i may/usually wake up during the night at least once. the weird thing...it is ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS quarter to the next hour! so its either 2.45, or 3.45 or 4.45 or even 1.45! its annoying! lol. and we've also concluded that that is what is affecting my concentration and may also be affecting the anxiety i experience....so, i need to book another appointment with my doctor to discuss sleep control tablets....(tranquilizers! lol)
aaaaaaanyway! im getting tired now and i need to tidy my room and do a few other things!
hope everyone is enjoying the heatwave! hayfever sucks. lol.
on a slightly nicer note, i am meeting bubs and aish on wednesday for tea! lol. should be bloody interesting to say the least!
night night all!
I NEED TO GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE I NEED TO GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM THIS FAMILY. why on earth does NOTHING EVER follow ANY form of logic? why the fuck is the blame ALWAYS put on me. its ALWAYS me that starts it up apparently. they're not fucking blind to everyone else are they now?! it takes the fucking piss. and then they wonder why we want to all go away for university. you know what? fuck it. im not even going to bother to put any local uni's down. see how they like it then. im sick of this. im totally fucking sick of this.
20-not-so-bad!
hey all!
seems to be a looot of negativity around the new platform! personally, i dont think its too bad, although everyone may be irritated for the simple fact that its change from what people are used to! it just means getting used to it again! and i must admit, looks a helluva lot nicer than the old platform! its more sleek and clean! also, http means gooood! lol.
well, will be updating properly after my last exam on wednesday! (chemistry-all 3 modules!))
not much been going on to be honest, mainly just exams and revising for them! lol. although a fair amount of other stuffs too, some of which i may or may not post up on here! probably will because, frankly, i couldnt give a flying fuck who knows. it works out better for us and its the other persons fault, they made the shit, they can now eat it as far as im concerned!
well, must go! chemistry revision is a-calling!
sooo...
..ooo
had doctors appointment on....wednesday, and the headaches, tingling, pains, twitching, tiredness, exhaustion, erratic sleep patterns and rapid alertness are all symptoms of....anxiety disorder......sooo...i have an anxiety disorder! (this isnt surprising as thats pretty much me, and dads got/had the same thing) so my neurologist referral is being doubled up with another 'psych ward'(or something of that effect) appointment, and im to see the doctor again in a few weeks to be 'assessed' for tablets which calm my heart rate down (at rest its in the high 90's and 'normal' even for me is around low 70's) so that needs to be seen to.
almost got disqualified from chemistry prac on thurs, was chewing, bitch thought i was talking. cow.
anyway, must dash. tea is getting cold and i want to read a few other posts around here!
goodbyes all!
my oh my its been a while hasnt it!
hey all!
well not much to report this time round either! lol. im just getting by! had biology practical exam this afternoon....not too bad. general studies exam yesterday, not too bad eitha, although was quite eventful! dentists rang up and said i had an appointment at 2.50 (exam to start at 1.30 for one hour 15...do the math!) so decided to see if i could get my exam moved back, did that. sister rang me to say no-one could go with me as everyone was either too busy, at work, or couldnt get to the dental hospital! so i had to move my exam back to the normal time and now have to wait longer for my appointment! doctors appointment tomorrow at the end of the day around 10 to six, should be fun! lol. not. then 2 hour chem practical on thurs! fun!
well, must go revise for chem!
hope everyone else is enjoying themselves! and having fun in exams too! 
goodbyes!
le weekend....
hey all
well, what have i done today...not much really, just finished off some work. nephew was in hospital today, he's got really really bad toothace, sister wanted me to go along so i went with. back in touch with an old acquaintance! lol. aaaaannd.....woke up this morning and decided i needed a shave....but couldnt be arsed to do it myself...so decided to go and get it done from the barbers! lol. looks like i mite be a regular there from now on. once every 2/3 weeks, will let it grow for a bit! lol. it really is amazing how much trust people put into barbers, especially when they're gently scraping a 2 inch blade along your neck that you know can cut through if you gulp or move! lol. tis nice. then went to sisters, went to hospital, got back quite late as was invited down for dinner at my sister in laws, got in and been doing lots of work!
well, must go! must get some sleep.
and for those readers amongst you of fantasy stories, go and get 'magician' by Raymond E Feist. tis a FANTASTIC book so far and im only on the 6th chapter! lo. its part of a series too. but its gooooooood! its one of those 'cant put down' books, and its one which (for me anyway) can really get your imagination going and you can almost 'be there' as it were! as weird as it sounds!
nite nite all
decision been made......
decided my target is now the University College of London to do a Bachelor of Dental Surgery, 5 year course, staying on campus. sister has said she will support my decision and help swing dad around to the idea! now just to get the grades!
how is everyone?
had an absolutely splitting headache, and need to book a fucking doctors appointment! also had a barbeque at brothers house. twas fun. ah well
nite nite all
tired, have a headache, had THREE, yes THREE heavy nosebleeds today, feeling tired and dizzy, have doctors appointment next week, also had hair cut today, and have i mentioned im prefect?! lol. im prefect. and lets just say its always the people you least think will come through for you that actually do!
nite nite all
has anyone here watched the entire 'series' of the remake of bleak house by dickens on the bbc?! its good! im on part 10 rite now! lol. and i daresay the choices of actors is very good, some very pretty and fitting the role rather well!
that will be all for today! goodbye and goodnite all!
ho hum
hey all
well todays been.......not too bad really. got some more of my biology coursework done, got some quite upsetting news about a close friend of mine. hopefully she'll be ok. and i got my referral letter through this morning to do about my teeth, gna book it for next week and according to my dentist its a 2/3 hour procedure! fun!
well thats all for today! im making an infra-red receiver for my computer so i can use a remote with it! lol. im a lazy little bastard and cant be arsed to get up to change the track on winamp! well must go!
goodbyes all, hope everyone is gooooood
feeling absolutely awful. both physically and mentally.
not gna bother going into school tomorrow at all. these fucking headaches are taking the piss now.
and theres a whole lot of other stuff 'hidden within' now if only i could write it all down somewhere with only a few choice people seeing it! lol.
im off to write a nice long private blog.
byebye and hope everyone else is enjoying the weekend and the last of the easter holidays!
hey all!
got a new phone on its way here to me hopefully by tomorrow! well its not NEW new, but its a new phone but a slightly old model! (was a very good deal! lol)tis the orange SPV E200! lol. it'l do the job i spose!
what else has been happening....well, ali (close mate) was involved in a car crash yesterday! lol. police were chasing a car, that car hit (with quite some force) a brand new 06 plate E-Class mercedes, the guys in that car got out and proceeded to beat the living crap out of the guys in the car that hit them, they left the handbrake off the car and it rolled back and hit ali's car! lol. ended up going down to the police station with him. was fun-ish. lol.
headaches are still there, hurting like crap, am on heavier dose of pain killers but that doesnt do much, so im not bothering with them as i dont particularly want a fucked up liver as well as a fucked up head! lol.
not done much today, got lots planned for tomorrow! lol. well im off now!
byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
The Corrs- Brid Og Ni Mhaille
once again, a FANTASTIC sounding song, dont understand a single word as its in irish (i think, more likely gaelic) although i did find a translation!
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Is a Bhríd Óg Ní Mháille
'S tú d'fhág mo chroí cráite
'S chuir tú arraingeacha
An bháis fríd cheartlár mo chroí
Tá na céadta fear i ngrá
Le d'éadan ciúin náireach
Is go dtug tú barr breáchtacht'
Ar Thír Oirghiall más fíor
Níl ní ar bith is áille
Ná'n ghealach os cionn a' tsáile r
Ná bláth bán na n-airne
Bíos ag fás ar an draighean
Ó siúd mar bíos mo ghrá-sa
Níos trilsí le breáchtacht
Béilín meala na háilleacht'
Nach ndearna riamh claon
Is buachaill deas óg mé
'Tá triall chun mo phósta
'S ní buan i bhfad beo mé
Mura bhfaighidh mé mo mhian
A chuisle is a stóirín
Déan réidh agus bí romhamsa
Cionn deireanach den Domhnach
Ar Bhóithrín Dhroim Sliabh
Is tuirseach 's brónach
A chaithimse an Domhnach
Mo hata 'mo dhorn liom
'S mé ag osnaíl go trom
'S mé ag amharc ar na bóithre
'Mbíonn mo ghrá-sa ag gabhail ann
'S í ag fear eile pósta
Is gan í bheith liom
[Translation:]
Oh Brid Og O'Malley
You have left my heart breaking
You've sent the death pangs
Of sorrow to pierce my heart sore
A hundred men are craving
For your breathtaking beauty
You're the fairest of maidens
In Oriel for sure
No spectacle is fairer
Than moonbeams on the harbor
Or the sweet scented blossoms
Of the sloe on the thorn
But my love shines much brighter
In looks and in stature
That honey-lipped beauty
Who never said wrong
I'm a handsome young fellow
Who is thinking of wedlock
But my life will be shortened
If I don't get my dear
My love and my darling
Prepare now to meet me
On next Sunday evening
On the road to Drum Slieve
'Tis sadly and lonely
I pass the time on Sunday
My head bowed in sorrow
My sights heavy with woe
As I gaze upon the byways
That my true love walks over
Now she's wed to another
And left me forlorn
Alanis Morissette- These are the Thoughts
FANTASTIC sounding song, lyrics are quite good too!lol
--------------------------------------------------------------
These are the thoughts that go through my head
In my backyard on a sunday afternoon
When I have the house to myself and I am not
Expending all that energy on fighting with my boyfriend
Is he the one that I will marry?
Why is it so hard to be objective about myself?
Why do I feel cellularly alone?
Am I supposed to live in this crazy city?
Can blindly continued fear-induced regurgitated
Life- denying tradition be overcome?
Where does the money go that I send to those in need?
If we have so much why do some people have nothing still?
Why do I feel frantic when I first wake up in the morning?
Why do you say you are spiritual
Yet you treat people like shit?
How can you say you’re close to god
And yet you talk behind my back as though I am not
A part of you?
Why do I say I’m fine
When it’s obvious I’m not?
Why’s it so hard to tell you what I want?
Why can’t you just read my mind?
Why do I fear that the quieter I am the less you will listen?
Why do I care whether you like me or not?
Why is it so hard for me to be angry?
Why is it such work to stay conscious and so easy to get stuck
And not the other way around?
Will I ever move back to canada?
Can I be with a lover with whom I am a student and a master?
Why am I encouraged to shut my mouth
When it gets too close to home?
Why cannot I live in the moment?
hmm...
hey all!
happy easter first of all, to everyone!!
sooo.....what have i been up to......not a lot. have been crippled! lol. you know those headaches i was getting? well im still getting them. they fucking hurt. and on sat morning i woke up with a nice patch of blood on my cushion, conveniently under my fucking head. i had had a nose bleed! and was still having one! lol. head really is beginning to take the piss.
not done a lot really, little bits of revision here and there, this week is all planned out! 2 days chem, 2 days bio, 1 day maths, 1 day psych, and another day maths! lol. then monday afternoon psychology again and repeat! lol.
have bought a new phone, its the SPV E200, one of the previous generation ones, but cant go wrong for 20quid! lol.
aaaarrgh! my head hurts! im going to bed!
hope everyone else is enjoying their holidays! and is looking forward to months of exams to come! lol.
goodbyes all
heloooooooooo!!
how is everyone?!
everyone happy?!
well ya should be! lol
ah things are good! lol. schools good, lifes good-ish, and to top that off, i'm back in touch with a few people from my old school, people i didnt really talk to much but now we got on like a fucking house on fire! lol.
saw nannah moon today too, tis always fun seeing her! lol (by nannah moon, her actual name is Hannan, she's arabic, and she's fun! lol. and we call her nannah moon!lol) twas fun!
school finished today, at the end of lesson 3, long school assembly and singing the school song again! lol.
aaanyway, eastenders is on, so im gna go watch that now!
and headaches still havent gone, learning to put up with them now! lol.
also.....if anyone here has access to file sharing programs of any sort, go and download this ONE song, its called 'Angel' by The Corrs, its off the 'Borrowed Heaven' album. it ROCKS!!!!lol
gooooodbyes!
(gna change layout later! lol)
hey all
well 'emergency' appointment at doctors had to be cancelled, as i forgot my dentist appointment was 10mins BEFORE the time i'd booked the doctors, and the dentist appointment was for 20mins.
soooo.....dentists.......went shit. being referred to the dental hospital! fun fun! the other dentist perforated my tooth, meaning he had gone side on and into the side of the tooth, im beginning to lose some of the bone in my jaw by the tooth, not much, but its still there! he tried to find the third root today, couldnt and decided to draw a line and refer me to the specialists at the dental hospital. should be interesting! lol.
well, not much else really been happening. computers all fubbered. and my doctors appointment is for NEXT monday now! lol.
goodbyes!
i REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY need to find better ways of managing my anger.
isnt it just FUN to be me!
this fuck-arsed allergic reaction to something is pissing me off- 'emergency' appointment at doctors tomorrow (by emergency, i mean its the only way the wankers will see me without me having to wait over a fucking week) also have dentist appointment...for.....ROOT FILLING. bastard. he's gota correct the bodge job the other dentist did, and while im in the area, i may pop in and give him a piece of my mind! lol.
well, must go now! tired!
nite nite all
hey all
hmm....what have i been up to these last few days?! fuck all to be honest. has been quite a good day/week so far to be honest, getting lots and lots of work done, and brother came down from aberdeen on sunday evening! so thats all good.
and its amazing no matter what happens, its always when you really need someone that your true friends come through for you! lol. cheesy, yah, but yeh. had lots of off-loading too in the last few days, has been good for me! lol. aaah well.
not much else really going on!
a small request to ye fellow 20sixers who do be doing AS/IB/further education at the moment.
is there anybody here who does do psychology? more specifically/ideally the aqa board. im in need of a good set of notes for module two, the stress topic as i appear to have mis-laid a chunk of mine and i need them to fit into my timetabled revision! (YES! revision has already started!) soooooooo if anyone could possible scan in or send me some revision notes, it'd be a godsend!
anyway, i must go now! work beckons! nite nite all!
hey
hey all. for the first time ever im updating my weblog using internet explorer! sound weird?! well my my browser of choice, opera, is deciding to be a bitch. refuses to load pages at any reasonable speed. and the reason i was reluctant to update via IE? because theres more than one person who likes to just randomly use MY pc. and im a little scared someone might come across my blog.
sooo...whats been happening....well....i just had a huge fucking argument with dad and brother. i had a go at my little sister (she's 14 for gods sake, gna be 15), anyway, she's been in bitch mode since she got back from school, and she went to my brother and told him that im having a go at her. he cut off my internet...whilst i was in the process of sending a relatively long and equally important email to a close friend. goodness knows if it went through or not. it fucking well better have. anyway, dad then came up and had a go at me. and brother decided to join in too! soooo it looks like im not gna be getting home until 9 o clock for the rest of this week except for friday when i might pop down to my sisters for dinner. saturday, library again, sunday, squash and more work! great! o and results this week too....great. does my life get any better?!(the answers no by the way)
and im in a fair bit of muscle pain right now too, as a result of yesterdays random squash stint. right arm is 'killing'.
'school' today wasnt too bad. o, did i mention that dad drops me off in the mornings on mondays? because i've gota be in earlier than normal for my duty. anyway, dad decided he'd leave for work in the morning without saying a word to me that he was going, and i didnt get a lift in! meant i had to run to get the 20past 7 bus into school to get there somewhere near the time i was meant to be in.
headaches still havent gone, need to book doctors appointment and get repeat prescription of painkillers.
well, thats all right now. i've got a room that needs tidying. hope this gets posted properly!
goodbyes. hope everyone else is happy!